I have always been the odd one out. Every now and then, while growing up, I’d find a group of people that would embrace who/what I was at the time. And the first few days/weeks spent in that environment would be the absolute best. Nothing beats being surrounded by people who have your best interests at heart, right? But most, if not all the time, this period of bliss would be short lived, I would evolve and have to move on to the next group.
At this stage I sound like I am some kind of animal species. And for the most part, that is how I have always felt. I have always been on the outside with human beings. I’ve always been on the border. Half-way moulded, but not quite the right shape, not quite shallow enough, not quite light enough. I have felt this even in my own family. I’m too white too be black, yet too black to be white. Not in a literal sense, of course. Yet all this confusion has made me who I am.
I’ve often wondered where my place in the universe is and what exactly it is that I am supposed to be doing and for a long time I didn’t have the truth. The truth that would set me free. The truth that would give me the liberation that I’ve often longed for. I had to move from place to place time and again to find my truth and at 19, I’m pretty certain this is what it is.
My place in this world is not to question when my turn will come. My place is to do my best where I am, with what I have so that I will be in the best position to receive my blessings when they eventually come. My place is not to try and be what society wants me to be. My place is to be the best version of me, and even improve on my yesterdays, everyday. My job is to be true to myself. Always.
What is your highest truth?