South African lifestyle and entertainment blog

Putting myself out there: Grindr, it goes down in the DM & receiving flowers

In my post about my journey to finding the one, I noted that one of the things that has been a challenge for me is moving in different circles than I had been in before since there is clearly nothing there for me. In an attempt to “put myself out there”, I downloaded Grindr. My journey on the app has not come without its oohs, aahs and awkward moments.

One such moment was when I saw my friend’s boyfriend on the app. His face was cropped out but I could recognise that it was him because he had posted this same picture on Instagram before. What caught me even more off guard was his description bar in which he stated what he was looking for which was in contrast to my friend who he is currently dating. I did not know how to approach the situation and logged out immediately. What if I tell my friend, only to find that they were looking for a third person for whatever reason *clears throat* since that is quite common on there?

The other awkward, or rather painful event was when I bumped into my crush on the app (no, not Sizwe Dhlomo). While I innocently flirt with him on Twitter once in a while, I did not really know what he was looking for in terms of relationships or sex. On the app, I found that he is not really looking for something serious or at least that needs to be labelled. While I did not fit the description (28 and older), I still decided to go ahead and shoot my shot. My approach was based on the fact that I was trying to be what I thought he wanted at the time. That attempt failed.

Another measure I took to was enabling anyone to send me direct messages on Twitter even if they do not follow me (Do I sound desperate yet?) One fateful day someone sent me a direct message saying how much he loved my music and we eventually went on a breakfast date which was magical. He even bought me flowers (he is only the second person in history to do that). I won’t say I was whipped after the first date, but I did entertain the idea of at least going on a second date with him. He never called or texted me after the date (which went very well) and never returned my attempts to contact him back.

I have double checked whether there are problems with my breath, or whether I have bad odour and found nothing. I reckon those are the only qualities that would scare someone away since I already possess every other virtue anyone could ever want in a partner.

I have not yet deleted the app and will keep you posted on any progress. Maybe.

Article written by:

Richmond Sajini is a musician and media entrepreneur in the public relations, television, radio and retail spaces in South Africa. He studied Public Relations and Communication at the University of Johannesburg and has worked on brands such as Coca Cola, Tsogo Sun, Heineken as well as the South African National Roads Agency. He has been told to shut up many times by people who don’t understand that he is in love with the sound of his own voice. For this reason he decided to start his own blog where he would share his thoughts and experiences without inhibition. Visit his blog, and follow him on Twitter @richmondsajini.


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