My mom asked me why most of my friends are much older than me the other day. It is not a prerequisite to be a friend of mine. And ironically, my best friend is a year younger than me. But she is right, most of my friends are much older than me (exclude the ones I met in Varsity) and I guess it is because I find it so easy to relate to them even if I might not have not gone through as much as they have. And for this reason, they sometimes dismiss certain things that I go through by using my age against me.
After my first and worst heartbreak, one of my friends (in her 30s) said; “You’re too young to be this depressed about a failed relationship. What do you know about love anyway?” In contrast, another friend, also in her 30s, told me about how she had experienced her first and worst heartbreak at 16. I was 19 when I experienced mine and what I wanted to hear was not that I was too young, what I wanted to hear was what Mapaseka Mokwele (what a beautiful lady) said at the Love Conference last week. I am now 21 years old.
Mapaseka said, and I’m paraphrasing; if she could teach her younger self about love, it would be that it is not always personal. I know, what?! She went on to explain that sometimes when things go wrong we blame ourselves and ask “What did I do wrong?” or “What is wrong with me?” trying to figure out what the cause of the heartbreak could be. The last part is what my 19 year old self needed to hear – sometimes a dog is just a dog and there is nothing wrong with you.
Pic via Picay Photography