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I messed up…

I pride myself in being a good person, but as I’ve been told many times “ukulunga kuyafana nokukhohlakala” – it’s possible to be equally as wicked as you are good. And I find myself at a point where I have managed to surpass even my own expectation of how evil I could actually be.

I am too embarrassed to relay the whole story, but the gist is that I have betrayed a friend who has been nothing but good to me in the most hurtful way possible. I have apologised for what I have done, but we all know that apologies don’t guarantee forgiveness and that we are not owed acceptance of our apologies merely by offering them.

What I know for sure is that my intention was never to hurt him. I am hoping we can rebuild our friendship, but if there is no recovery, I only have myself to blame. With that said, I am also learning that I am fallible and capable of making mistakes despite my efforts at being perfect.

I reckon a week of beating myself up with guilt can only be bad for my mental health so now, I need to give myself a break and give him the space to process everything and decide for himself if he considers me worthy of still being in his life.

PS: I know this post is random after my loooong silence, but hey. This *is* Random Ramblings.

Article written by:

Richmond Sajini is a musician and media entrepreneur in the public relations, television, radio and retail spaces in South Africa. He studied Public Relations and Communication at the University of Johannesburg and has worked on brands such as Coca Cola, Tsogo Sun, Heineken as well as the South African National Roads Agency. He has been told to shut up many times by people who don’t understand that he is in love with the sound of his own voice. For this reason he decided to start his own blog where he would share his thoughts and experiences without inhibition. Visit his blog, www.randomramblings.co.za and follow him on Twitter @richmondsajini.

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