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Desensitised to cheating

The great thing about the holidays is that I get to catch up with my favourite TV shows because I just do not have the time when I am in Joburg. One of my favourite TV shows is 7 de Laan and I have been devastated by the Altus and Paula (favourite character) storyline. Not because she is my fave and I believe she’s above being cheated on, but because so many people are encouraging her to forgive him and take him back. The same scenario is seen in many other soapies where women who have been cheated on are encouraged not to leave their partners.

I have also seen this debate on Twitter quite a number of times and it never ceases to shock me how many people do not see cheating as a deal-breaker in terms of relationships. Maybe this is due to my very limited dating experience. I have also personally joked that I would stay with Sizwe even if he cheated on me. Hehehehe…

Another observation that I have made is that the reasoning is always that kuyabekezelwa and this is mostly said to women – if you watch Our Perfect Wedding you know. Why is it that it is seen as normal when cheating occurs in a relationship? Why is it that this is not a deal-breaked for so many people?

While I agree with what Mapaseka said at the Love Conference, I believe that when cheating persists, you need to look at your own role in the situation. The challenge is that we think too highly of ourselves to believe that we can be cheated on and when it does happen, we think too lowly of ourselves to believe that we can actually move on without the cheating partner.

Granted, many times love prevails and the cheating can be overcome, but I think that there is something wrong when you decide to stay in such a relationship if you are always going to be suspicious and resent your cheating partner.

There is a middle-ground called self-confidence. Where you do not think you are above being cheated on but where you are also strong enough to know that you can go on without this cheating partner. We need to get to that middle-ground with our relationships.

Would you stay in a relationship where you are constantly being cheated on? Why? Why not?

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Article written by:

Richmond Sajini is a musician and media entrepreneur in the public relations, television, radio and retail spaces in South Africa. He studied Public Relations and Communication at the University of Johannesburg and has worked on brands such as Coca Cola, Tsogo Sun, Heineken as well as the South African National Roads Agency. He has been told to shut up many times by people who don’t understand that he is in love with the sound of his own voice. For this reason he decided to start his own blog where he would share his thoughts and experiences without inhibition. Visit his blog, www.randomramblings.co.za and follow him on Twitter @richmondsajini.

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